September 22, 2008

Jon Jonsson - Real Icelandic Hero

Soccer. I can't say I've ever enjoyed that sport. Do you want to know why?

I think the second ripple in that gorgeous American flag says everything we need to know about Soccer. I think the first ripple just screams "We're Better than You, and we know it," but that post is for another day. 

The only real soccer fans in this country don't seem to care about soccer that is actually played in this country. Interesting.

So when I attend a BU soccer game, I don't go because I like the sport, I go for a variety of unconscionable yet strictly predetermined factors. I'd show you the pie chart, but I ate it.

Reasons to attend a BU Soccer Game (percentages influencing my attendance):
1% - Going to a Nickerson sporting event in hopes that Athletics brought back football without telling everyone and disguised their first game under the title "BU Men's Soccer vs. Brown."
2% - The 1/20 capacity crowd creates such a cozy environment.
2% - Every sporting event I can go to without seeing the BU Cheerleaders perform is a present in itself.
2% - Praying that someone will storm the field with me
3% - Staring in awe at Shaun Taylor's bald, English head.

Sometimes I get lost in his lack of hair follicles.

90% - Watching Jon Jonsson make the opposition look like fools (while at the same time getting 6 girls' phone numbers in the crowd simply by winking at them).

What a stud. And Saturday, in a 4-2 offensive clinic by BU, Jon Jonsson scored his first career collegiate goal with a laser (clocked at 6 miles/hour) of a shot that beat guido Colgate goalie David Cappuccio.

It was so Tom Morrow-like: First career goal, also coming as a game-winning goal. I used to think Tom Morrow was God. Does that make Jon Jonsson Buddha? 

I decided before the game that an on-field streaking of some sorts was necessary if Jon scored. Unfortunately, the crowd did not get such a show when the goal did happen, as a fellow soccer enthusiast stated that all I had to do was punch Luciano Fraioli in the stomach as celebration. For those still concerned, Luc should be out of the hospital in 4-6 weeks after his recovery.

Perhaps BU Soccer's biggest fan and BU Basketball's most beloved Lithuanian forward, Valdas Sirutis, pointed out a very hilarious flaw in the Colgate roster. Take a look at the representation for each team:

Honestly, Colgate? Has the Open-Door Policy taught you nothing? How did the American Team do in the olympics? Oh, right. You keep recruiting in Texas, we'll keep winning games.

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