July 31, 2008

College Sports...So Close

A month from today. The official kick off to the year. You'll hear about this again.

July 30, 2008

BUDT: Suitable for MLB Players Across the Country

Who knew that the Hot Dog and Jesus site would become your place for juicy BU Dance team gossip/rumors/facts. Look they're jumping for joy at this mention!

Well, this just proves it - the BUDT is up to NBA standards. I just found out one of the members from last years team is dating a Major League Baseball player. I mean we've seen this before - not necessarily dating, but chilling/chillaxing with millionaires.

But for their sake I'll withhold their actual names, both the Rays player and the dance team member. Have I said too much already?

Propz. Don't these teams not like each other? OH WELL.

July 27, 2008

Colin Wilson To Return, Slay Freshmen

So it is official? News has been circulating around the USCHO message board and on the Terrier hockey website that the physical specimen that is Mr. Colin Wilson is returning to wear Scarlet and White next season. This is according to "several sources close to the program."

This is superb news for this team. For me, for you (if you like BU), for all Terriers across the nation.

And good news for all you to-be-Freshmen ladies.

Take a number.

July 25, 2008

BU has Prestige

ESPN recently ranked all 300 NCAA Division 1 college basketball teams. They did this based on the following criteria, awarding or subtracting "points" based on various milestones:

• National title … 25
• Title game loss … 20
• National semifinal loss … 15
• Elite Eight loss … 10
• Best W-L record in conference's regular season … 5
• 30-plus wins in a season … 5
• Sweet 16 loss … 5
• Conference tournament title … 3
• AP first-team All-American … 3
• Losing in NCAA second round … 3
• Player in Top 10 of NBA draft … 2
• NCAA first-round win as a 12-16 seed … 2
• NIT title … 2
• AP second-team All-American … 2
• 20-29 wins in a season … 1
• NCAA tournament berth … 1
• Postseason NIT berth … 1
• AP third-team All-American … 1
• NCAA first-round loss to a 12-16 seed … -2
• Losing season … -3
• Ban from NCAA tournament … -3

So there is some math involved. In order for a team to be ranked the school has to have had at least 15 seasons of NCAA basketball since the 1984-85 season.

Here's how the America East shaped up:

108. Boston University
159. Vermont
T-256. UMBC
270. Hartford
T-278. Maine
297. New Hampshire

Pinch my nipples and call me part of Titletown, USA! Boston University is the top ranked America East team! Hell, they're even higher ranked than USC (132). SUCK ON THAT TROJANS!

All other schools in the conference didn't have enough time in Division 1 to qualify.

Our mighty conference ranked 30/31. SUCK ON THAT ATLANTIC SUN CONFERENCE!

It has to be because of the power of the Jesus.

July 21, 2008


Well, kind of. Two that I really care about. And they aren't even complete.

For those of you out of the loop BU has announced the 2008-2009 non-conference schedules for both the men and women's basketball teams. Some interesting matchups and likely blowouts, but I don't care. I'm still pumped.

Men's OCC Schedule:

Nov. 14 vs. George Washington (AA)
Nov. 18 @ Bucknell
Nov. 22 vs. St. Peter's
Nov. 25 @ Northeastern
Nov. 29 @ Mount St. Mary's
Dec. 3 @ Harvard
Dec. 6 vs. Marshall (AA)
Dec. 10 vs. Yale
Dec. 13 @ Notre Dame
Dec. 21 vs. Delaware
Dec. 29 @ Cornell
Jan. 2 vs. Holy Cross (AA)

(AA) - at Agganis Arena

Poor planning choosing to have the Holy Cross game at Agganis Arena. Instead of it being just kind of empty, The Greek will be REALLY empty. If I were in charge I'd probably have had that Delaware game at Agganis - CAA team right as the semester is ending could have drew a lot of people. But when students are gone there's no reason to be playing at Agganis.

Notre Dame should be fun/funny. I mean, it's this years Pittsburgh game and Notre Dame really does not lose at home. Not even for the America East powerhouses. I can only hope both Pitt/ND have to come to BU next year (or the year after).

Overall it is a very competitve non-conference lineup. 2 conference winners last year, a Big East team, solid Patriot league games and the usual Ivy league games. Get happy!

And for the women:

Nov. 14 @ Rhode Island
Nov. 20 vs. Siena
Nov. 22 @ Iowa (IT)
Nov. 23 @ Portland/Providence (IT)
Nov. 25 @ Northeastern
Nov. 29 @ Ohio State (BC)
Nov. 30 @ Dayton/Central Michigan (BC)
Dec. 3 vs. Brown
Dec. 9 vs. Harvard
Dec. 13 @ Marist
Dec. 30 vs. St. John's
Jan. 2 @ UMass

(IT) - University of Iowa Tournament
(BC) - Buckeye Classic

The women's team is going undefeated again through non-conference games at Case next year. I'm calling it already. The home games aren't overly tough, but this is an incredibly difficult OCC schedule. This team has stacked the Thanksgiving break with tournaments as well as women's basketball powerhouse Marist. They'll sweep the Ivy league and should be able to handle the other two home games.

I'll save the overall record predictions for another day.

Oh, and apparanetly this is the 100th year of BU men's basketball. I don't even know how to feel about that, but I know, we're all part of history.

July 5, 2008

Who decided to have the NHL draft during HD&J awards?

Perhaps we've been too busy to analyze this year's draft. I mean, come on NHL, what were you thinking holding such an event during the biggest award show that the internet has ever seen. Well, even if we don't see eye to eye with the scheduling of the NHL, in no way does that mean the Terriers were poorly represented over in Ottawa a few weeks ago. 

Everyone had almost certainly projected Colin Wilson to dress in Scarlet and White next season, but in the back of our minds there was that shot of him signing away his rights to play amateur to go to the big leagues. 

And I'm not talking overseas in one of those intense broomball leagues which the Hot Dog and I will soon sign multi-year deals to:

I'm talking NHL. And Jack Parker said it himself:

Well, the Predators ended up taking this stud as just the seventh overall pick. 

So I should be excited, right?!? I think? Perhaps it's a little too high for my comfort zone, and if BU wants to be at all competitive next year, it starts in the stick of #33. I cheered when I saw how early he was taken. And then I had to stop and think about it. Did Ricky D stay after going #1 overall to the Islanders? 

I haven't had this many mixed emotions since I saw M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" and thought it was supposed to be a serious movie.

I mean honestly, plants killing people? That has comedy written all over it.

Anyways, not only has Colin improved drastically on the ice since arriving at BU, but I heard his stock really rose when teams found out he finally learned how to read and write.

Wilson seems rather intelligent in that video. That one year of college obviously did him very well, so who needs three more years, am I right???

Well, I could dance around the topic all night if I wanted to and there's obviously no right or wrong solution until we finally get Wilson's decision, but I can't help to speculate:

After such an awful season with BU, we can only hope Colin recognizes the potential that next year's team has. A very well-rounded senior class of Higgins, Yip, Lawrence, Gilroy, and McCarthy is certainly something to stick around for. And I've always been a Bennett supporter (I won't go as far as saying I was a Bennett fan), but having anyone between the pipes who does not go by the name of Kraus or Bennett is a nice addition by subtraction to this Terrier squad.

Speaking of which, Brett's replacement, Grant Rollheiser, went in the 6th round to the Maple Leafs. Sure, Bennett went in the 5th round and this could be a few more years of disaster, but look at how quick this guy moves.

If the camera can't get him all in on one shot, how can a puck get by him? Once again, technology speaks the truth.

And really, we are asking this guy to do a hell of a lot more than he probably expects. As a freshman goalie that isn't hyped too much, you normally wouldn't have to make an immediate impact, and the fans and coaches probably wouldn't ask you to. With this team, however, we seemed to falter (and rarely, yet sometimes, succeed) based on the play of our flimsy and sometimes makeshift goaltender. I hope he's ready for the expectations of carrying one of the more prestigious programs in the country. That's not too much to ask for, is it?

While we had a total of four draft picks taken in June, I'd like to address one more problematic situation that this team will encounter next season.

We will have two brothers on the same team with nearly identical first names. Victor and Vinny Saponari will both likely get a considerable amount of time on the ice, so what do we do for jerseys?!?

It reminds me of the situation that the Denver Broncos had a few years ago with too many D. Williams' on their squad. Perhaps the most memorable Williams of that bunch, Darrent Williams, ended up with his full name on his jersey: 

He ended up dying at the age of just 24 years old in a drive-by shooting, but he will clearly go down in NFL history as having the most BA jersey ever.

Vin. Saponari or Vic. Saponari on the back of a jersey would just be excessive, so I'm pulling for a full name jersey next season. My vote follows seniority, and I can't wait for third round draft pick Vinny Saponari to skate out on opening night to an irreplaceable jersey, certainly making him a fan favorite of mine. Victor, well, he just missed his shot.

July 3, 2008

The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards Recap

Your winners:

Worst Injury - Tyler Morris
Best Song - "China Grove" - The Doobie Brothers
Rookie of the Year - John Holland
Best Reserve - Tunde Agboola
Most Hated Opposing Athlete - Nate Gerbe
Dance Teamer of the Year - Grace Lam
Worst Venue - The Mullins Center
Best Venue - Case Gymnasium
Hottest Athlete - Jenny Taft
Most Hated School - Northeastern University
Worst Loss - BU-UPenn - Women's Lacrosse NCAA Quarterfinal
Best Win - BU-UHA - Women's Basketball America East Home Opener
Fan Favorite - Eric Gryba
Lifetime Achievement Award - Jonah Kaplan
Best Coach - Coach Kelly Greenberg
Best Moment - Hot Dog and Jesus win the 50/50 Raffle
Funniest Moment - Flute Guy dominating everyone
Best Team - Women's Lacrosse
Best Female Athlete - Sarah Dalton
Best Male Athlete - Pete MacArthur.

Damn. I need a drink. Good thing Flute Guy's hosting the post awards ceremony party. Gonna be the jumpoff....

July 2, 2008

The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards Day 17: The Final Day

COLTON: Wow, we made it. I mean, not all of us made it - Jonah didn't quite last 17 days. It's really been exhilarating here in glorious Montgomery, Alabama. I never really thought I would make it to Alabama in my life. Like why come? Well, Hot Dog and Jesus gave me a reason and I'm damn glad they did.

Before we jump into the second to last award let's go through some of the lovely guests here today, who've been here through all 17 days of awards -

Getting front row seats, because well, they've got money - CJ17 and JB10. Who you might be asking? Well, since his mother has a computer program that automatically alerts her whenever his name is mentioned on the internet, it's safer to just put it that way - CJ17 - a prominent player on the 18-1 New England Patriots. Also joining him is his boy Gabbar Jafney (J=G) - both of whom I'm sure are here supporting the dance team. But then again, who isn't?

Seated directly behind them UHA men's basketball coach Dan Liebtovitz. Perhaps given tickets by the Hot Dog since he basically has a man-crush on him. Right next to him - Dennis Wolff, Jack Parker and is that? Yes, I think it is, BC hockey coach Jerry York. But why? Oh, ha ha ha, don't tell him this but right behind him is that guy who dressed up as a gorilla at that one BU hockey game with a sign that says JERRY YORK IS A PENIS. That's clever!

Smug bastard.

Who else do we have here...well, of course in the players section of the audience every single BU athletics team, most of whom are all in full uniform. Someone better tell them there's no games.

Every single Agganis and Case season ticket holder was also lucky enough to get a ticket to this awesome event, and as a peace offering Hot Dog and Jesus provided every poke victim from their Facebook poke group T.O.C.O.T.H. a ticket. See, under those buns and beard are two very loving souls.

BU administration is on hand, probably making sure that nothing goes too over the line. Someone better tell them too late for that.

Nancy Atufunwa gets a front row seat I can see - I understand - the BU basketball head of marketing was definitely an important person to both HD and Jesus this past year. It's a shame she's headed for greener pastures in Chicago next year. I know everyone wishes her luck.

Hey, before I go on, anyone find it a bit funny that the BU Athletics website is doing the Terrier 12 - the 12 biggest sports moments in the past year - just days after Hot Dog and Jesus started their awards? Sounds like someone is striving for attention and starting a little too late. Anyways...

Could it be? Wow, sitting far to the left, hey, can I get a spotlight please?

*Spotlight turns on and goes to the far left, front row*

OH MY GOD!! It's Flat Stanley!! I can't believe my eyes. The last time I saw him was at a BU hockey game, where a drunk older gentlemen forced Hot Dog and Jesus to take a picture with young Flat. They didn't have any idea what was going on! Well, it's really a blessing to see Flat again.

There's that dude who proposed to that girl during that one hockey game this year. I hear their wedding is in two years, way to go buddy.

*Engaged man flips off Colt*

Hey, not here, there's children - like Nate Gerbe's kids!

Nashville Predators executives are on hand as well, likely making sure that Colin Wilson doesn't do anything too demeaning or demoralizing. Is it bad that he's no longer in the BU Facebook network? I feel like it is.

There's the baby tiger, being nursed back to life after it's epic adventure on Commonwealth Avenue. You go baby tiger!

There's Flute Guy, center stage, front row - and of course, he's not clothed. Women are literally hanging all over him. My God, I would trade my soul to be Flute Guy for like 20 seconds. That's all I would need.

You know, all these great people on hand. I could go on and on, but I'm going to stop right here. I want to get into all you people up there in the cheap seats, but there just ain't enough time.

*Points to people in cheap seats who start going crazy*

The two people who are missing, like really, I don't know where they are - Hot Dog and Jesus. I mean it is their awards ceremony, but after they accepted their award for Best Moment they literally disappeared.

JESUS: *Emerges from stage right. He doesn't walk, he hovers* Not so fast Colt0ne.

COLTON: Jesus Christ.

JESUS: That's me. I will relieve you from your duties temporarily, I'm going to take it from here, especially for this next award. Really, I can't resist.

COLTON: You heard the savior. Folks, until I see you again, here's the one, the only, Jesus Christ.

JESUS: It's been a hell of a year. Ups, downs, side-to-sides. You know, lots of action. But perhaps no one had more action than the ladies of Boston University. Not those who just went to class, got dolled up, f*cked Flute Guy, and joined a sorority. No, no, no I'm talking about the athletes of BU. The female athletes. I love them all so much and I wish there was a way I could prove that to all of them. I debated Hot Dog for hours on this one - I wanted to give an award to every female athlete, but he just wouldn't allow it. So, there has to be one and one alone. Without further ado, here are the nominees for Best Female Athlete -

Sarah Hudak, Field Hockey

Lauren Morton Lacrosse

Sarah Dalton, Lacrosse

Christine Kinneary, Basketball

Jesyka Burks-Wiley, Basketball

I hate this. My vote was for everyone, like I said. I reluctantly present to you the winner. Drum roll baby, use your little drum rolling wrists one more time for me...

Ain't that baby special? Believe it or not, he's Asian, and I think, one of Flute Guy's children, but we can save that discussion for another day.

The winner for the Best Female Athlete of 2007-2008 is....


Come on up to the stage Sarah.

DALTON: Wow, thank you like so much for this award. It like really means a lot to me. I don't know what I can like say to like do justice to like my competitors. Like everyone is really really good at what they do but like I guess I was like the best. Super awesome. I like have to thank my teammates on this one. Like without them I don't think I'd be like who I am! Me! Anyways, thanks Hot Dog and Jesus, you guys are like kick butt. GO BU!

COLTON: Like, that was like really awesome. 

But for serious, I think Sarah deserved it. If I know one thing it's that stats don't lie and Sarah Dalton set a Terrier record with 71 mother f*cking goals in a season. Pardon my French.

I'm not gonna dilly-dally any longer. The second half of who this awards ceremony is named after is here to wrap this whole thing up. People I present to you The Hot Dog!

HOT DOG: Thank you Colt. And thank you for stepping in on such short notice. I really felt like Ed Wade/PJ Carlesimo back there with Jonah. He really let me have it for no reason in particular. For all I know he's driving back to wherever he lives now, drowning his sorrows in Jack Daniels, behind the wheel of his Toyota Corolla. But let's leave the past behind us. 

It's time for the final award of the night and the entire awards ceremony. We've just recognized the best female athlete in this past year so let's find out which dude was the best at his given sport in 07-08. Here are your nominees for Best Male Athlete in the 2007-2008 athletic season: 

Corey Lowe, Basketball

John Holland, Basketball

Matt Gilroy, Hockey

Pete MacArthur, Hockey

Boomer Ewing, Hockey

Such a tough category. Getting the nominees was incredibly difficult. Hell, getting the nominees for all these categories was no easy task, but we did it. I know many of you won't agree with our decisions, but I remind you, this is the Hot Dog and Jesus Awards, and the committee has carefully thought these through. The committee being Jesus and I. So if you don't like it, I don't know, try to choke me out like Jonah did. However, I warn you, Paul, the 118 security guard, always has my back.

*Paul, the 118 security guard, peeks his head out from back stage. He has a stone-faced demeanor. He would beat you up*

Anyways, little slave drum roll baby, this is the last time you have to do this until next year - give the crowd the drum roll...

The winner for Best Male Athlete goes to....


PETEMAC: Yo yo, represent. Thank you Dog and God's child. I worked hard for four years, trying to win me a piece of the National 'ship. But I guess this will have to do. I saved a special place in my apartment for an NCAA Champ trophy, but I'm reluctantly happy to say that this Hot Dog and Jesus award is going there instead. To all the current Terriers and future Terriers, do me proud yo, win BU a national title so you won't ever be forgotten.

COLTON: Game. Set. Match. Folks, it really has been fun. It's been tiring, emotionally draining, and interesting to say the least. We hope you had fun here because we sure did. Until next year, I'm Colton Bozigian, and for the entire crew here at the Hot Dog and Jesus awards one final word - GO BU!

*China Grove by the Doobie Brothers plays on repeat as the audience files out of Garrett Coliseum in Montgomery, Alabama*

The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards Day 16

COLTON: My 2nd day, your 16th day. It's getting intense and it's all kind of like that Phil Collins song - I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord. And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord. Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord, oh Lord.

That was beautiful if I can say so myself.

*Crowd is puzzled. However, some people, mostly in the cheap seats, were into it.*

We have to be moving on to our next presenter for what I want to say is a rather big category. Yeah, it's real big. Some might question why it's not on the last day, but I will not. I mean, it is usually the last award at an event like the ESPY's, but whatever - Hot Dog and Jesus do it a bit differently, I've learned that this past year.

Anyways, here is the next presenter - to some he's known as the only black guy at BU, when in actuality he's not even really black, I think. I JUST DON"T KNOW!!! Let's just say he's black to prove a point to Northeastern. Anyway, he's the most lovable BUIM worker there is or has ever been and what's even better is he wears a sweater vest to hockey games - MANNY!!!

*Crowd goes absolutely crazy upon hearing MANNY is presenting*

MANNY: Whatup whatup to my people all across the lands. We be here representin' what Hot Dog and Jesus feel deserve to be recognizin'. Pretty much that's just been individuals, places, and moments thus far, so today is a little different - we be recognizin' a team today - the team that embodied BU athletics to the utmost degree this last year. I wish it was intramural teams included cause I gotta say, there were some teams that showed some real spirit this year - even though they all just play for a t-shirt that could be stolen anytime from the 2nd floor FitRec closet.

Put that aside, here are your nominees for the Best Team in Terrier sports this past year:

Men's Basketball

Women's Basketball

Men's Hockey

Women's Lacrosse

Women's Field Hockey

All worthy of a Hot Dog and Jesus award if you ask me, but hey, I'm not the judge of this whole thing. Yo lil' babyboy - gimme a drum roll -

The winner for the Best Team in the 2007-2008 athletic year is...


Accepting the award on behalf of the Lacrosse team is captain Lauren Morton:

*With the entire team on stage behind her*

MORTON: Hey ya'll, we have to thank Hot Dog and Jesus first and foremost, because they're the ones choosing the awards. We have to thank our fans who supported us the entire year and stuck by our sides. We want to thank our coaches for pushing us so hard in definetely one of our most successful years ever. It was a great year and this award just caps it all off. Thanks!

COLTON: Wow, wonderful. Those ladies, I gotta say, they're something special. They bring a special feeling to me, right here *points to heart* and right here *points to crotch region. Crowd laughs.* My vote woulda been for the BU dance team, but eh, what can you do when they're not even nominated? Gypped? I think so.

Folks it was an exciting day. It's gotta end though as we move to tomorrow, the last day of the Hot Dog and Jesus awards - tomorrow. 2 awards left, who's going home with the award for the best male and female athlete? I guess we'll all know by day's end. Take care everyone.