June 15, 2008

The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards Opening Ceremonies

Welcome to the first annual Hot Dog and Jesus Awards at beautiful Garrett Coliseum in Montgomery, Alabama.

This is the longest running awards ceremony in the history of awards ceremonies, running from today, June 15 all the way to July 1st. The people, the performers, the presenters all present - nothing short of magical. And now without further ado here is your host of this special event. None other than Jonah "The Roaming Terrier"  -

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to cordially greet you and welcome you to this special event. I am the voice at Terrier Hockey games - the roaming reporter - and the Hot Dog and Jesus' special request to host this event. Perhaps the most prestigious award you could win in the Boston University sports community - a Hot Dog and Jesus Award - recognizes the best of the best and the worst of the worst in this past year. We have some great performers and participants in the house tonight. So without further delay let's welcome to the stage our first presenter of our first award tonight - the man, the myth, the legend - Hot Dog and Jesus' very close friend Mr. Chris "Sandal Dick" Deacon:

Thank you kindly Jonah. We all closely follow the BU Terriers. I've been with HD+J for a lot of the season and seen the true range of emotion they both experience. Many times it's reflected onto me. Some of these emotions really seem to shine when something truly awful happens - something like an injury. So let us take a look at the nominees for this season's worst injuries. And when I say worst injury I mean which one had the biggest/worst impact on the given team or season:

Corey Lowe - knee/wrist

Tyler Morris - leg

Ibi Konate - leg

Karson Gillespie - ankle

Erica Baumgartner - lower body

All deserving nominees, but only one can win. Drumroll please.

And your winner for worst injury is Tyler Morris. Tyler's injury not only impacted the basketball team who started rather lackluster with him out, but Tyler never seemed to be the same that he was the previous season. Tyler's pain was felt all around. Accepting the award for Tyler Morris, is Tyler Morris with his hot girlfriend. His friends, family, and supporters look on. This is Tyler's first nomination and first award.

I'd like to thank the committee, Hot Dog and Jesus. This isn't an award I'm proud of but it's something. I'm gonna do my best to not get hurt next season and lead the Terriers to an AEC Championship. I love you mom. GO BU! *Makes out with girlfriend to a standing ovation*

Don't worry folks, I'm back. I know you missed me. Hell, I missed me. Anyways, let's bring out our next presenter. He made our ears basically orgasm time and time again. He's often times been called the musical Mr. Clean - Band Director Chris Parks -

Thanks Jonah. Music is an important part of sports. Without it, games really wouldn't be the same. Fans wouldn't be as into it. Players wouldn't be as pumped. Music is what really matters, which is why the Hot Dog and Jesus awards have a very special award - Best Song. This song is, in fact, all these songs, are songs I chose to make sure the band played the entire year. So here are your nominees:

Jon Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer

THE BANDS VERSION of Soulja Boy - Crank That


The Doobie Brothers - China Grove

The Shadows - Apache

And your winner, drumroll please:

Your winner of the Best Song of the past year - the Doobie Brothers own "China Grove." And now performing China Grove on portable stage #2 the Doobie Brothers. Unfortunately the BU Band is too good and HD+J couldn't get them down to Montgomery, Alabama. Just pretend it's the BU Band as they accept the award via performance -

Hey now, I'm back but we're going to have to take a short break. I mean, we do need to make this the longest awards ceremony ever so we'll see you tomorrow with more awards. Don't forget to grab refreshments and watch the BUDT National Performance, which is on repeat, in the main lobby. And again, congrats Tyler Morris and the Doobie Brothers. See you soon (Tomorrow) for the next award - Rookie of the Year.!

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