June 21, 2008

The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards Day 5

The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards: Day 5. They just keep 'em coming.

JONAH: Hello everyone and welcome again to The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards. I am of course your host, Jonah, and we're back for the 6th day of the award ceremony. Now, I'm sure most of our audience is wondering what the hell happened to the 5th day of coverage.

After receiving the award for Most Hated Opposing Athlete two days ago, Nate Gerbe seemed rather excited. It took him a good 22 hours before realizing the award was actually an insult, and he came storming into my dressing room with tears running down his eyes just minutes before I was to take the stage. *Crowd Laughs* As funny as that may have been, this certainly was no laughing matter. In a pathetic attempt to try and have his award rescinded, he threw water at me, landing on my face and ruining my makeup. There was no way I could show my face on stage with smeared makeup, and we were forced to postpone.

But enough about the past. Tonight's award, given to the Best Boston University Dance Team (BUDT) Member, is so exciting that it makes up for the postponed award from last night.

Ah yes, the dance team. What won't they do next, ladies and gentlemen? Here is a look at the team showing off some of their skillz earlier this year:

After seeing that, I'm sure we all understand how serious this award is. Here to present the award is none other than the bracketologist himself, Professor Magee.

PROFESSOR MAGEE: Thank you very much, Jonah. Many people laughed at me 52 years ago when I received my Ph.D. in bracketology from the University of Pennsylvania, but I knew the day would come when I could finally put my degree to use. That day came on March 26th, 2008 when the lovely members of the Boston University Dance Team had a head-to-head bracket-style tournament to determine the best member of the BUDT.

Perhaps the greatest yet also most intense 2 weeks of my long and uneventful life came out of this year's exhilarating tournament. But the competition is not over yet. Let's meet our contestants to see who takes home the award for Best BUDT Member.

Rachel Scott
Best Known For: Her strong freshman presence on the court yet even stronger creepy characteristics in life

Kimie Matsuo
Best Known For: Having no video game skillz and her recent election victory as secretary

Grace Lam
Best Known for: Captain of the BUDT and achieving All-American Status

Sarah Shelton
Best Known For: A ridiculously strong fan turnout during tournament play

Jorie Larson
Best Known For: Wearing the greatest number ever (#38) and mysterious State College residents confessing their undying love for her

The members are all so qualified, I don't know how anyone could ever choose. But just a few months ago, the Hot Dog and Jesus Blog viewers somehow decided on a champion.

And could we please have a drum-roll?

Grace is joined by her family tonight from somewhere very far away via satellite feed.

GRACE LAM: Thank you so much, Professor Magee, Jesus, and the Hot Dog! I am very proud to get this award, it is so BOMB! I'm so glad I finally have something to put on my empty trophy case at home, it was starting to collect dust. OMFG!!!!! Oh, and there are so many other people to thank. Let me think, there's my family for never giving up on---
*Jonah signals a choking motion to the technical director and the satellite feed suddenly shuts off*

JONAH: Well, that's all the time we have for tonight's award. I'm glad everyone could join us for day 6 of The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards. Don't forget to check back tomorrow as the awards will go on.

From Montgomery, Alabama, this is Jonah on behalf of the Hot Dog and Jesus saying goodnight.


jorie4l said...

The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards Day 6 could be more accurately called "An Atrocity Revisited." Looking away from the rigged voting from March, and being a big BUDT fan myself, I must say that I am concerned about next season. Although the two best things that could have happened to the the BUDT, Grace Lam graduating and Sarah Shelton transferring, recently occurred, the team will unfortunately be losing the bastion of dance perfection that is Jorie Larsen for the year. This is unarguably the saddest event in BUDT history. However, with Jorie rested up for her senior year, I’ll be looking forward to BU’s first national dance title. Jorie 4 Life.

J. Manuel said...

This awards show is genius. i can't wait for day7