June 29, 2008

The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards Day 14

JONAH: AH, yes. Day number 14. No one thought we'd make it past lucky number 13. But to all you superstitious readers, I have this to say: HA!

As a recap, yesterday Mike Salem presented the Coach of the Year Award to Women's Basketball Coach Kelly Greenberg. But no one cares about that, because the day before we all witnessed ME, Jonah, receive the first ever Hot Dog and Jesus Lifetime Achievement Award. Amazing.

But enough about me, let's get to the presenter. Perhaps the greatest mascot in all of the NCAA, Rhett the Terrier will announce the nominees and winner for Best Moment of the Year!

*Rhett walks on stage and makes rather obscene gestures to the audience that many pass off as sign language (This blog would likely be censored if we went into further detail). Though with a muffled, slightly inaudible voice, he begins to talk*

RHETT: Thank you ******* I am ************************* very tough category tonight**** best moment of the year ************* and the nominees are:

The first round AEC tournament OT win over Albany and the celebration that ensued

The Hot Dog and Jesus win the 50-50 hockey raffle

Red Hot Hockey at Madison Square Garden and the 6-3 victory over Cornell

John Holland's 38 points and his monster slam dunks against Hartford

Brett Bennett's first career shutout against Maine

RHETT: These nominees are all ********************* drum-roll please?

And the winner *******best moment of the year***************


*Crowd Gasps in utter disbelief*

JESUS: Sure, this moment may not have been the best moment for anyone else but us two. In all fairness, however, we are the judges.

HOT DOG: That's right. Jesus Christ, I spent my share of the $549 winnings in three days; all on candy. I road-tripped to New Hampshire to buy 554 tax-free 99 cent Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Wow, those were three glorious days.

JESUS: Right. Well, as great as the BUDT halftime performances are, we applaud the dance team tonight for a much different feat. On behalf of The Hot Dog, we both thank the BUDT for magically drawing our ticket out of the hundreds of tickets purchased that night.

HOT DOG: It certainly spurred many bro hugs, that's for sure.

*Hot Dog and Jesus walk off stage to more than a few booing fans. Paul, the Agganis section 118 security guard, punches out each and every booing fan and gladly escorts them out of Garrett Coliseum*

JONAH: Well, until tonight, I thought I had seen it all. But boy was I wrong. The Hot Dog and Jesus take home an award in their own award show. Fitting? I think so. Anyways, this is the 14th day I've had to do this and it's getting rough on the knees. Can someone direct me to the nearest alcohol establishment in Montgomery? Until tomorrow, this is Jonah and thanks for tuning in.

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