June 25, 2008

The Hot Dog and Jesus Awards Day 10

JONAH: Hello and welcome back to Day 10 of the Hot Dog and Jesus Awards. Yes, we've made it to double digits and my toupee is still in prime form. Wait, that was just a...joke. Yes, my hair is all natural. Anyways, every award only seems to get more exciting as the days progress and the creepy trophies with the Hot Dog or Jesus' head are given away. I wish I had one. I know this is just the first year of the awards, but perhaps next year there will be a category for best host at an award show? Just a thought. 

Without any more delay, I would like to introduce a man of many names but only one viking helmet to accompany him: Max "Mono" Esposito!

MONO: Thank you Jonah for that lovely introduction. But I no longer go as "Mono," for my name will forever be...BONGO MAN.

*Crowd appears confused as Mono/Bongo Man whips out his bongo attached to his belt and plays a 20 minutes bongo solo*

BONGO MAN: Normally, people have to pay to hear that kind of skill. But enough of that musical beauty, it's time to start what I was brought here for. 

I've seen some pretty amazing games in my day. Some of them were even worth bongoing over. We saw comeback wins, monster blowouts, and overtime thrillers, and Hot Dogs rushing the court. The award that I, Bongo Man, am fortunate enough to present to you all tonight is BU's Best Win of the Year. Here are the nominees:

Men's Ice Hockey 7-4 win over UML - 11/3/07

Men's Basketball OT thriller in Quarters of AEC Tournament

Lax defeats UNH 9-8 in OT to win 4th straight AEC Title

Women's basketball defeats Hartford 62-60 with Kristi Dini's half-court buzzer-beater

Holland drops 38 as Men's Basketball blows out Hartford 97-66 on 2/28

BONGO MAN: Oh boy, these were all great games that I would love to play my bongo at. Unfortunately, the band said they had no need for a bongo player. How insulting. I'll save the tears for later, it's time for the winner. Can I have a drum-roll please?

*After a few seconds, Bongo Man sprints toward the baby, takes the drums and throws them into the audience. He once again whips out his bongo and does the drum roll himself. The baby proceeds to cry*

And the winner is: 

Kristi Dini's half-court buzzer-beater!!!!!!

KRISTI: Thank you so much everyone! I'm sorry that I have to accept this award while sitting in a bathtub full of ice, it's just that ever since that halfcourt shot that I made, I've been so hot that I really needed to cool off. *Kristi pauses for audience to laugh, but it remains silent*

Anyways, I hope next season is full of many more moments where we give the Hot Dog more chances to storm the floor in full force, because it certainly isn't enough to see a giant hot dog bun come flying at you only once a year.

JONAH: Ah, yes. The half-court buzzer-beater. The shot of all shots, the answer to all questions, the key to every lock. I used to hit so many of those back in my intramural basketball days at BU. 

But enough about the past, tomorrow means the future and Day 11 will bring even more excited nominees to the stage for another day of Hot Dog and Jesus awards. Thank you all for tuning in. Goodnight from Montgomery, AL.

No comments: